“I’ve been afraid every single day of my life, but I’ve gone ahead and done it anyway.” – Georgia O’Keefe
Today, we’re looking at the biggest fear for the Love Goddess Archetype – The Fear of Separation!
Inherently, we all experience the Fear of Separation from the moment we’re born. Before you emerged into this world, you didn’t recognize yourself as the “other.” You were integrally connected to a part of your environment, namely your mother’s womb. Then, throughout life, you consistently lost yourself in this realization of “other-ness,” a separate entity from your world. It happened on the first day of school, when you saw yourself as differently dressed than the other kids. It happened at the playground, when you were the last to be chosen for the game. It happened at your first dance, when your crush picked someone else to dance.
Each time something happened to confirm your “other-ness,” you realized you were separate. You created stories to help you through those tough realizations, whether the stories were true or not. You would try to convince yourself that you didn’t need your parents, your friends, or your siblings when you felt hurt. Instead of feeling rejection, you made shells of independence.
From within those shells, you saw yourself even further separated, and began every intimate relationship from that place of fear, vying for the love to make you whole again. You then developed feelings of jealousy or envy because you saw love as the way to make you feel whole again, but the inevitable realization that you are still “other” felt like another rejection, and once again reminded you of your separation. By the time you reached adulthood, this manifested as a fear of intimacy, maybe even a commitment-phobia. Even when you’re in a relationship, you fear surrendering fully to love, the ultimate expression of your feminine heart.
Next time, we’ll look at the last of the Fundamental Fears and how that fear effects the way you live your life!