As many of you know, I live in beautiful Toronto, Canada. Where unfortunately, a recent and deadly attack has started conversation and awareness to a term called incels. You may, or may not be familiar with this term but I do want to have a conversation about it. Why? Well, for a couple reasons.
An Unfortunate and Infuriating Incident
To summarize the tragedy that took place, April 23, 2018 a man ran down with a truck dozens of people on a beautiful afternoon. He was then discovered to have explicit ties to this movement known as ‘involuntary celibates’. Thus, the term incels was born. Now, naturally as you start to peel back the layers, he was also found to be enamoured with a young man in California who described himself, to hate women.
So who are these men?
According to Psychology today, these are ‘Young men who struggle with finding romantic partners are finding solace in their shared experience with each other. They even have coined a term, “Incel” to describe their situation as being “involuntary celibate”‘.
Now, I do not want to spend any more time on who this man was, but it is important to note he has ‘pledge allegiance’ to this … cause.
What does this tell us?
When we use the term “incels,” we are not talking about all men who are not having sex. Instead, we are talking about a specific subculture of people in various internet forums who basically, troll them. And, with intention to be mean or hurtful to others — specifically women.
Beyond their shared frustration with not having sex, this incel community is not monolithic. Many of them are simply sad and lonely men, suffering from extreme social anxiety or deep depression.
Where this becomes scary, or a topic in desperate need of conversation is that these incels, these men, are not supporting each other. What I mean is this, they do not support each other in ways to manage their frustration, or struggles. Instead, they feed each others fire.
They feed it to a point where it becomes, feelings of entitlement.
This view however, is not an uncommon one historically — however in extremist like views and actions it is becoming much more prevalent in even modern, western societies.
But it’s not just individual women that these radicals hate. it’s society at large. A society that allows their perceived sexual oppression to continue. The sexual revolution, in particular, comes in for hate.
They believe women being freed to make their own sexual choices, rather than being married off to men and made subordinate, is the reason women can choose to sleep with attractive men and ignore the self proclaimed, incels.
There is much debate whether this act in Toronto for example, was one of terrorism. Although, when we consider the motive attached to the action and the tragedy as a result, how we can see it any other way is difficult. Isn’t it?
Are these incels Misogynistic?
What we are starting to question is this a matter of alpha male versus beta male? We are starting to look deeper into things like;
- Head of State
- Head of Church
- And, Head of Household
And then, we see names emerge like MGHTOW — Men Gotta Have Their Own Way. I mean, help me understand this. Or better yet, help me understand how this happened. How did we get here? Or, has this been happening and it’s only now people are far more vocal about it?
Have movements like #metoo, and other feminist advances caused these men to act out — with such anger and violence?
You see, when we see incidents like that one that happened in Toronto, Canada it allows for the conversation to be had. It opens the doors of awareness and to some degree prevention. Because many of these incels claims are social media based, you can imagine how difficult it is to police.
And so, things appear to slip through the cracks. Even more so, when the knowledge of these groups, exist.
In Closing …
What we have seen, is the male role being similar to that of an over structure whereas a woman, is generally seen as the power from within structure. I want to leave you with this …
What we are seeing in the world right now, is that contributing to people believing in this concept of incels? Does it give men the perception of having the right to be(d) with as many women as possible? Tough topic for a Monday, but one I believe should be had.
My video on this topic, can be found here > https://youtu.be/oTONDg10XHg